Burma Steelwater, an eyewitness and local quilter watched the event unfold last thursday.
(sic) I was aint gon see thems was putting them cones on his there head n ya know i was thinkin' what a time to be alive n ya know I been making quilts here for dern near 65 years and never did I see such a hobo as that an they should do sumthing it aint like it used to be you never can know who to trust with them yuppies 'round these parts anymore - Burma Steelwater
When police arrived on the scene, the caveman had dissapeared. Only after thoroughly searching the area did they spot him hiding in a tree. If it werent for the orange traffic cones on his head, he would have been nearly invisible. When officer Douglas called him to come down, the Caveman grunted and showed a confused expression. Officer douglas attempted to use sign language to signal for him to descend, but to no avail.
Unka boogoo dunky unky - Caveman
The caveman then pulled a branch from the tree and held it up like a club. He jumped down, yelling "HUUUAAA" and landed on officer Douglas, hitting him with the makeshift weapon. A scene of chaos unfolded as traffic cones littered the parking lot and onlookers screamed in horror. Officer Douglas managed to call for backup before blacking out.
Officer Douglas remains in the Kentucky state hospital where he remains in a coma.
10 ways to protect yourself from cavemen2
As Caveman attacks become more common, here are 10 ways to defend yourself should you find yourself at the wrong end of the club.
Avoid Caves Don't go outside carry a big stick Don't approach roadkill be aware of your surroundings Drink plenty of H2O make lots of noise when you walk to scare the away make direct eye contact and yell "Honk Honk" (they will think you are an angry goose and run away) wear lion scented perfume STAY HOME 1 according to Burma Steelwater
2 not legal advice